Protocol

April 15, 2008 at 2:55 pm (Uncategorized)

There’s something that’s been nagging me for the past few weeks. Something I noticed I had the habit of doing, but doubted the “goodness” of. I find it reassuring to know that what I do is largely accepted by society as being righteous, so noticing this nibbled at my conscience like a rat/mouse nibbles at a chunk of cheese. I’m not exactly sure how a rat/mouse would nibble at cheese, but the assumption I’m making is that Hanna and Barbara got their fundas right.

This is the sort of blog entry that would require interaction with my non-existent readers (in the form of comments), so I would request [@Amma: note that I haven’t said that I would “like” to request] my non-existent readers to close their eyes, and put themselves into the following situation. Wait! Don’t close them yet. Let me describe the situation, and then you can close your eyes and do the imagination.

You are walking down the street. Someone you are acquainted with (and necessarily not overly chummy with) is walking down the same street from the opposite side. You notice his/her presence from about 50 metres away. How would you greet him/her and what would you do afterward.

Close your eyes for a period of 10 seconds NOW!

If ten seconds have elapsed, you’ll have a fair idea of what you would do. So here’s what I do. My non-existent readers are free to be judgmental about it. I need opinions. I also need suggestions.

The dilemma is this. I feel odd not acknowledging the person’s presence the moment I see him/her with a friendly “hi”. At the same time, I know that once I say hi, there’s still another 40 metres at least to go. What do I do then. Do I continue smiling at the person like an idiot whose face has got permanently mutated. Do I carry on making eye contact? Do I turn away suddenly and look snobbish?
Nah! None of these seems right. Instead, I do the weirdest possible thing. I look at my watch for the next 40 metres, reading the time like a four year old with mental and optical disorders.

What say?

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8 Comments

  1. anonymous said,

    No. you look elsewhere and pretend you haven’t seen the person for the first 40 metres. Then you turn to him, give a huge smile, say a generous Hi and walk past. Thats what i do. Has worked for me πŸ™‚

    BHarath

  2. anonymous said,

    Do the doable dood. Just swish your hair and shout scooby dooby doo. πŸ˜›

    Aggu

  3. anonymous said,

    let your eyes get lost in the whirl of the maze that currently resides over your brain; and lo! 40 metres won’t be a big deal after all .

    Btw ,abbe its hard to stare at your hair , i just seem to have realised , however , not so for you !

    Murthy

  4. anonymous said,

    well… the moment i get a glimpse of the person and my neurons associate the image with someone i know,my field of vision shrinks instantly as my head tilts downwards and my facial features assume clueless look..i can no longer see far than 7 meters…now keeping track of the distance( which my neural network has been trained for since past 24 yrs),i take out my mobile phone after walking (pretending to be clueless) 10 meters..for the next 28 meters,it offers me hell lot of options to fidget with..thereafter i (act to) put it inside my pocket which again i have timed so well that the movement takes exactly 2 meters of distance while walking…now slowly i lift my head up (in the process covering 3 more meters)…and voila…at seven meters,i find an acquaintance…this always works…but its flip side is, during the state my field of vision is limited to next 7 meters,the subject might take right or left turn..and disappear..so when my vision restores..i AM really clueless…

  5. anonymous said,

    tis question has plagued mankind since the time he figuerd out tat his upper 2 limbs r called hands ,not legs…t only satisfyin soln i see is we will evolve out of it…i mean tat is wat evolution is supposed to do ryt…set t wrongs ryt…we can in t time being set tis query to my hss prof…hell lyk it i suppose..

    p.s my suggestion…t person in front of u is goin thru t same dilemna as u r…so keep starin at him into his face..tatll get him jittery…if he takes t first step,jus replicate it…otherwise keep on starin…

    p.s.s. wateva happens after tat pls do let me kno…

    sumeet

  6. anonymous said,

    Dude! Which century do you live in? Have you heard of cell phones?When you see that close-to-familiar face and dont know what to do, just flip the phone and get fiddlin’. Technology – greatest excuse mankind invented. You can get away with a non-committal nod while on the phone….

    I guess you are still at the stage where you actually get hot and bothered about such things. Me – I just look through the person and walk my merry way. My mantra, if you really wanna get in touch, send me sms/email/whatever!

  7. anonymous said,

    Apart from all the things you can do on the spot, there is another thing you can do –

    Write a blog entry that explains your problem and ask people for their comments so that at least all those who read your blog understand it is normal when you behave weird on seeing them on the road.

    Oh wait, you’ve already done that…

    -Vinayak

  8. sidzoo said,

    Nice! Typical Vinayak πŸ™‚

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